"Not of my flesh and bone, but simply my own"- by Jasmine Narin

The story you are about to read is written by Jasmine Narin, a stepmother who loves her stepson unconditionally. She is about to tell us how she met her Man, Andrew, and how she learnt the joys and struggles of being a parent.

The truth is, not every lady can do what Jasmine did, she is worth to be our guest today.

Read her story below:

Photo: Jasmine, Antonio and Andrew

I met my partner at the gym I was going to, we were both participating in "6 week challenge" which consists of training five days a week and eating nothing but meat chicken fish fruit and veggies for 6 weeks.

I always thought that nothing would eventuate from he and I's encounters and just assumed he'd remain eye candy at the gym for me.

He was gorgeous, with a kind smile and warm brown eyes that just unstitched me.
He always looked at me with a genuine excitement to see me but never flirted with me . Just participated in conversation like two good friends. A true gentleman.

Until one night during one of our "ordinary" conversations he asked me out to dinner.
The rest is history.

Also Read: Why You Should 'Date Someone Who Treat You Like Shit'

Andrew is an amazing boyfriend,
He's a relentless hard worker, laser focused with a huge soft spot for his son
And God bless him, for me.

He is thoughtful and loving,
Strong and protective.

Andrew is one extreme to the next conditioned to strive and provide on his own for his son.
I'm in love with him because he is an amazing father, because he has this childlike spirit and a sweet and beautiful soul.

Almost from the very beginning of our relationship we had to go through a large obstacle to do with our little man, that I can't share here, But I will say that this obstacle is what strengthened us as a unit and bonded all us three closer.

Made us all realise how much love we really did have for each other.
But this topic is about being a parent to a child who didn't grow in your womb but in your heart. And I hope our story is some help to you.

I always enjoyed kids. I do it for a living.

I'm a childcare educator with an undying love for the development and education of children. And an eternal appreciation of how enriching and rewarding being able to work with children is. So considering working in childcare for many years.

I always thought I'd knew exactly what it'd be to be a parent.
I was wrong.
Being Antonio's parent is what taught me.

Also Read: 14 Signs that You're In An Abusive Relationship

Now being his parent is something that came over time. On my account.

Antonio is a special case where he was craving a mother figure in his life. So not long after meeting me he

became very attached. It was as confusing as it was wonderful.

Giving my time and love to him came easy.

It's the controversy of becoming his "Mum" that made things confusing.

Not only did he see me as a mum, I became his fulltime carer,

If you told me 2 years ago that I would be a fulltime mum to an 8 year old I wouldn't have believed you.

But here I am. And I love every minute of it.

Now the topic of conversation is how to have a good relationship with your partner with a "stepchild" involved and to have a good relationship with your "stepchild"

Now I personally believe if you are interested in someone who has children, you need to be prepared to take the child/children on 100%

They aren't just a part time thing, They are your boyfriends/girlfriends world. That child comes before everything and yes that means you.

So unless you're going to love or at least try to love the child as much as your partner does. I wouldn't waste your time.

Now I don't have much experience when it comes to children who aren't fulltime with the partner but I do have some things to say about my son Antonio that I hope will help you in whatever situation you are in.

Antonio might as well be a teenager
He is brilliant
He always pushes for more even after he's gotten what he wants
He eats like a king but will insist he's starving and ready to throw any family member under the bus for not feeding him even if they actually have.

He'll avoid homework and chores at all costs
He will struggle through a meal or refuse it based on the fact that it's not visually appealing or contains a specific ingredient that he knows you are aware that he dislikes because he has told you several times for future reference,  So therefore gets genuinely offended that you even placed it within his eyesight.

He absolutely hates authority of any form

That he forgets he's 9 and he tells a teacher to "Cut the attitude out" with him, for asking him to do his school work.

Worst of all
He ALWAYS finds the Nutella no matter where I hide it!
And manages to finish it off within two days MAX!

It's easy to get frustrated with Antonio,
But what stops me from being in an endless loop of pointless back and forth
Is Antonio
All of him

Also Read: You Can Get PTSD From Staying In An Abusive Relationship

He has the biggest heart I've seen in a child that has the ability to endure so much heartache and still be so forgiving and loving

Oh his love
It is the grandest love I've ever felt

He is over top with the affection and emotion with me.
That I look at Andrew sometimes and think, "Why don't you tell I'm beautiful and you love me so much and you think I'm the coolest" 15 times a day or more on the weekends.

I still remember the time Antonio sat by me protectively staring down paramedics when they were administering my crying screaming ass with morphine.

He was unnerved by my crying and completely focused on watching these foreigners that dared to prod me with sharp needles let alone touch me in the first place.

He stayed with me while I was in hospital despite my efforts to make him go home to sleep and not have to sit in an uncomfortable seat for hours on end.

But the thing with Antonio is, even though he's such a sweetheart for me and always listens or at least begrudgingly (when it comes to chores and self hygeine)
Once he's made his mind up, He's determined and stubborn, he's not going.

He yelled at Andrew that "You and I are not abandoning mum"
My mum was there just in shock at him.

Andrew ended up arguing with him enough to leave, once daddy hits the switch on tone, there's no challenging him. Haha see? And I wonder where Antonio gets it from.

Antonio is amazing,
He is generous
Loving
Affectionate
Thoughtful
Intelligent
The list goes on forever
I'm in love with him
He is undoubtedly my son.
Even if I didn't give birth to him

I have this unnerved and stone hard protection and love for him.

Every child is different, they all have their own set of quirks, strengths, flaws that they need someone to think is amazing.

I will admit that I've been drained, exhausted and depleted learning how to be a mum to Antonio.
But seeing him thrive, grow and become a stronger wiser little human is enough to look back on my sleepless nights and hard days and know they were necessary.

Being a "step mum" "adopted mum"
Is a brave and hard journey,
But I do promise the amount of love that comes out of the little ones is all worth it.

And the only real advice I can give is,
Always put the child first,
And if you're there for good,
That's your family now. Most of all,
Be fearless. Love always wins.

Story by Jasmine Narin - A Stepmother, whose love for her stepson is everlasting.

Have a story like this? Send it to my email: queenjeenyfb@gmail.com

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